BPD Splitting: Symptoms and Causes

What Is BPD Splitting?

Borderline personality disorder (BPD) splitting is a mental health challenge describing an unconscious defence mechanism to manage difficult situations or switch blame and responsibility to others. Splitting behaviour is extreme, interfering with a person’s relationships and an individual’s sense of well-being.

Splitting behaviours often go between two extremes:

Idealisation (when a person exaggeratedly emphasises the positive qualities of another person or situation)
Devaluation (when a person exaggeratedly emphasises the negative qualities of someone or something)

The conflict of emotions in people with BPD splitting results in polarising people instead of seeing them as complex human beings with multiple positive and negative characteristics. For example, a person with BPD splitting behaviours may see their partner or a friend as the ‘worst person in the world’ one day and the ‘ best partner or friend ever’ the next.

Another example of BPD splitting is when a child receives a low grade at school; they often blame the teacher instead of realising that they need to come more prepared for the exam.

Sometimes, splitting can be easily noticeable. In other cases, such as with quiet borderline personality disorder, the splitting behaviours can be completely internal and silent.

Below, read more about the signs and symptoms of BPD splitting and how to recognise if you or a loved one are coping with this personality disorder.

Symptoms of BPD Splitting

BPD splitting involves intense shifts in perceptions and emotions. Individuals may quickly alternate between idealising and devaluing people, situations, and themselves. This can lead to unstable relationships, rapid mood swings, impulsive behaviour, and difficulty tolerating ambiguity. These extreme shifts in thinking can cause emotional distress and challenges in maintaining balanced perspectives.

These are the most common symptoms of BPD splitting behaviour:

Positive Splitting:

Negative Splitting:

Unstable Relationships:

Impulsive Behaviour:

Fear of Abandonment

Difficulty with Ambiguity:

How Long Does BPD Splitting Last?

The duration of borderline personality disorder splitting can vary in different people and situations. Splitting episodes can be brief and intense, lasting only a few minutes or hours, or they can persist for more extended periods. The length of a splitting episode often depends on factors such as the individual’s emotional regulation skills, the episode’s triggers, and the situation in general.

Some individuals with borderline personality disorder may experience frequent and rapid shifts between idealisation and devaluation in their relationships and self-perception, leading to short-lived splitting episodes. Others might have more persistent patterns of splitting that can last for days, weeks, or even longer, particularly if they face ongoing triggers or challenges.

What Causes Splitting?

Medical experts do not fully understand the causes of splitting behaviour, but evidence indicates several potential risk factors, including:

While the exact cause of splitting behaviours is unknown, experts suggest it could also be a way of managing conflicting emotions.

Impact on Relationships

BPD splitting can have a significant impact on relationships, both romantic and non-romantic. The extreme and rapidly shifting views of people and situations that come with splitting can create challenges and difficulties in maintaining stable and healthy connections.

These are some of the ways in which BPD splitting can impact relationships:

Unstable Relationships: The constant shifts in perception can lead to tumultuous relationships. Friends, family members, and partners might find it difficult to predict the reactions and behaviours of the individual with borderline personality disorder, leading to instability and emotional turmoil.
Communication Difficulties: Effective communication is often hindered by splitting. A BPD person might struggle to express their emotions and concerns in a balanced manner, swinging between extremes of affection and anger. This can make it challenging for the other person to understand and respond appropriately.
Emotional Exhaustion: Loved ones of individuals with BPD may experience emotional exhaustion due to the unpredictable nature of splitting episodes. The constant need to reassure or defend themselves against sudden negative judgments can affect their well-being.
Breakups and Reconciliations: Romantic relationships can be particularly affected, with rapid shifts between idealisation and devaluation leading to frequent breakups and reconciliations. This pattern can be emotionally exhausting for both parties.
Impact on Self-Esteem: Being constantly subjected to idealisation and devaluation can negatively impact self-esteem. They may start to question their own worth and identity and develop self-image issues.
Isolation: People close to someone with BPD splitting may withdraw or distance themselves to protect their own emotional well-being. This can contribute to feelings of loneliness and isolation for the person with BPD.

Splitting in borderline personality disorder often reflects intense emotional pain and requires understanding, acceptance and compassion. For people experiencing BPD splitting, creating a nurturing and caring environment plays a key role in the treatment and recovery process.

Diagnosis and Treatment

As a mental health challenge, BPD splitting requires detailed and multi-faceted assessment by a mental health professional. The evaluation involves several aspects of the person’s life, including family and social interactions, genetics, or history of childhood stress and trauma.

The treatment plan for BPD splitting often includes regular psychotherapy sessions and sometimes medications. In some cases, people with BPD splitting behaviours may need home care and assistance to overcome the emotional challenges.

The most common types of treatment for BPD splitting include:

Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT): DBT is considered one of the most effective treatments for BPD. It helps individuals learn skills to manage intense emotions, regulate mood, reduce impulsive behaviours, and improve interpersonal relationships. Mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotion regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness are key components of DBT.
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT): CBT can help individuals identify and challenge the distorted thought patterns contributing to splitting. By working on changing negative thought patterns, individuals can develop a more balanced view of themselves and others.
Schema-Focused Therapy: This therapy addresses deep-seated negative beliefs and patterns contributing to BPD symptoms. It focuses on identifying and changing underlying schemas or core beliefs that drive splitting behaviours.
Transference-Focused Psychotherapy: In this model, the medical professional uses the relationship with the individual as a means to identify and reshape emotional and behavioural challenges

Coping Strategies

Coping strategies can be helpful for individuals with borderline personality disorder to manage the challenges associated with splitting.

These are coping techniques that can assist in navigating emotions and fostering more stable relationships:

Mindfulness: Practicing mindfulness methods, such as deep breathing, meditation, and grounding exercises, can help individuals stay present in the moment and reduce impulsive reactions triggered by splitting.
Emotion Regulation Skills: Learning to identify and label emotions and understanding the triggers behind intense emotional responses can empower individuals to regulate their emotions more effectively.
Opposite Action: When intense emotions arise, engaging in behaviours opposite to the emotional urge can be very helpful. For example, if you feel like withdrawing due to anger, try engaging with others or participating in an activity instead.
Check the Facts: Challenge black-and-white thinking by critically evaluating your thoughts. Ask yourself whether your extreme judgments are based on concrete evidence or whether there might be alternative perspectives.
Interpersonal Effectiveness: Try learning communication skills to express your needs, set boundaries, and resolve conflicts in a balanced and respectful manner. This can help reduce misunderstandings and improve relationships.
Distress Tolerance Techniques: Many tolerance techniques can help you cope with distressing situations without resorting to impulsive actions. Techniques like distraction, self-soothing, and self-care can be valuable.
Keep a Diary: Write down your thoughts and feelings when you experience shifts in perception. Reflecting on your emotions later can provide insights into patterns and triggers.
Seeking Support: Reach out to friends, family, or a therapist when struggling with splitting tendencies. Having a support system can provide perspective and help you avoid making impulsive decisions.
Healthy Boundaries: Set clear and healthy boundaries in your relationships to prevent extreme idealisation or devaluation. This can create a more stable foundation for connections.
Pause and Reflect: Before reacting impulsively to a situation, take a moment to pause and reflect. Think of the potential effect of your actions and whether your reaction aligns with your long-term goals.
Professional Help: Consider consulting a mental health professional, such as a therapist experienced in treating borderline personality disorder, to learn and implement coping strategies tailored to your specific challenges.

Mastering these coping strategies takes time and practice. Be patient with yourself and acknowledge your progress along the way. If you’re struggling with BPD splitting, seeking professional guidance is essential to develop a comprehensive and effective coping plan.

BPD Support With Leaf Complex Care

People with borderline personality disorder turn to Leaf Complex Care due to our professional, person-centred, and humanised support. At Leaf Complex Care, we provide holistic support to every individual with complex care needs, putting a person’s emotional and personal needs at the centre of our focus.

We embrace and respect people’s differences and challenges, striving to foster self-awareness and self-reliance by identifying and nurturing people’s skills, strengths and talents. Our team of support workers are ready to develop a person-centred care plan tailored to your unique needs and preferences.

With offices in Bristol, Slough, Birmingham and Somerset, we are here to support you in the most challenging times of your lives.

Contact us now for more information.